Not sure if you've heard of him, but Karl Pilkington is possibly the funniest/dumbest person alive. Here's some quality quotes:
"[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
"People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it tight?"
"Do you know like, when you're a bloke nudist, Do you ever get who just have like a small knob?"
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