vanishing elephant blog: May 2012

The UEFA EURO comp kicks off early June, so we thought we’d get our picks in as the excitement gets uncontrollable. Two of the VE boys, Huw Bennett and Felix Chan list their picks along with former player Chad Gibson man on the ground for Fox Sports and Local F.C blogger, and Lisa Hall, avid all round Football lover, ‘Newcastle till she dies’ fan and potential new Sydney FC fan#1.

Drop us your thoughts.

Felix Chan.

Player to Watch: Christian Erikson: Denmark: They won't get through the groups, but he's one of the best young players in the tournament. I would have said Oxlade Chamberlain but he plays for Arsenal.

Team to watch: England: Roy Hodgson as manager? Stewart Downing and Glen Johnson in the squad? Rio left out? Jordan Henderson as a stand by? All farcical coming from a Liverpool supporter.

Winner: Pains me to say this but Germany. That nucleus of Gomez, Lahm, Neuer, Schweinsteiger and Muller is too strong. Plus they have the best batch of youngsters coming through (next to the French) in Reus, Goetze, Hummels, Ozil and Kroos.

Oh and they're German, they just win shit.

Underdog: I'd say Netherlands. It's probably the weakest their squad has been in a while, a lot of their good players are coming off terrible seasons at club level... but it may just take the pressure off. I think everyone wants them to win something.

Outcomes: - Roy Hodgson is going to fail. Bookmark it. He'll also do this at least once

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aav46Lek0Rs

- The Portuguese twat (Ronaldo) will have an underwhelming tournament.

- Schweinsteiger will be one of the top players at the tournament.

- Fernando Torres is going to have the worst hair at the Euro's.

- France is the dark horse to win it.

Lisa Hall.

Player to Watch: Yann m'villa then - arsenal bid 18M for him so he must be good. Go the frenchies! Would have been Hazard if Belgium has qualified!

Team to Watch: Les bleus -France. Laurent Blanc will want to restore his nations faith in the team after the world cup disaster. How can he go wrong with Benezma? Add in Malouda and Ribery and some great newbies like Jjeremy Menez and Yann m'villa (if Arsene Wenger wants you for arsenal that's got to be a good sign) and last but not least Hatem Ben Arfa and they are looking like a team I’d like to watch.

Winner: I’m with Chan it’s going to be the Germans - Schweinsteiger, Gotze, Ozil, Gomez, etc. they can't go wrong. More importantly the winner in the style department will be Joachim Loew- the bigger question is will it be cold enough in Poland/Ukraine for him to bring out his V-neck knits or will he be rocking tee's, polo's, chinos or even shorts? Either way we are all winners.

Underdog: I'm biased but I’m backing England. Andy Carroll had a great end to the season and without Rooney it’s his (or Danny Wellbeck if he isn’t injured) time to shine. Alex Oxlade chamberlain is a great injection of new blood into the team, then you've got Cahill, Cole, Lampard, hart, Lescott and Barry all coming off the back of the high's of champions league and title wins (sorry Huw). What’s stopping them from being favorites you might ask? Well Rooney is out for the group stages, John Terry is a dickhead and their new managers name isn’t Harry Redknapp.

Outcomes: - 3 weeks of hopefully fantastic football and no Lionel Messi to hog all the glory and goals!

- And yes Felix is right Torres will undoubtedly have the worst hair of the tournament and we will all go to work looking like shit for three weeks due to lack of sleep!

Chad Gibson.

Player to watch: Gary Neville, having been added to the coaching staff for the Three Lions, after a shock first round loss will come out of retirement to lead England to the final. Also Gourcuff of France will finally live up to the next Zidane tag & Mario Balotelli who will either be unstoppable or just do something crazy.

Team to watch: England will reach the final after beating Germany on penalties in the semi's. After the shock loss in the 1st round, England recall the old guard of Golden Balls, Scholes and the Nevilles to go through the tournament undefeated. The invincibility of Germany is gone after Bayern's loss on penalties in the CL final, they are now fragile. Losing to England in the semi. All of Germany's stars refuse to take penalties leaving the final spot-kick to Mertsacker who skies it over the bar. Also the Ukraine is strong (Seinfeld reference).

Winner: Le Blues will reign on europe again. With the súpercool away jersey, the French will play the beautiful game to win the Euro's. With the new "Viera" in M'villa holding the middle and an attack of Ribéry, Gourcuff, Giroud, Remy, Nasri & Benzema the French will be unstoppable.

Underdog:The Italians will play catenaccio, win games 1-0 by parking the bus. The football will be boring and we will be asleep after the first 15 minutes. SBS will say it is revolutionizing football and the Socceroos adopt these tactics for Brazil 2014.

Outcomes: - Ronaldo refuse to play because his kit is XXL not XXS.

- England actually won’t get a point or a goal. (Julian Lescott will be leading scorer with 4 own goals)

- Shevchenko will be the tournament-leading scorer; yes he is still playing (with Lescott).

- Spain will self destruct. The Madrid/Barca rivalry will explode. With Barca players refusing to represent Spain and will break away to represent Catalunya

Le Silhouette-Blanche: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vV-qq9caA-A

Seinfeld Ukraine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzLtF_PxbYw

Huw Bennett.

Player to watch: Or players of mind. Mario Gotze, Germany. Mesut Ozil, Germany. Manuel Neuer, Germany and some others; Tomas Pekhart, Czech Republic. Loic Remy, France and the GOD of Swedish football Zlatan Imbrahimovic.

Team to watch: Germany! Believe the hype, maybe not the best lead up especially the lose to Switzerland but expect form to hit at the right time. Potential sneaks - The Netherlands, Orange flavoured final? The French, if they gel should be amazing to watch and hopefully follow through. Should start well with a win against England!

Winner: Hopefully Germany can't discount Spain, Netherlands dark horse.

Underdog: Maybe a tag they need, England - Dad's army plus Chamberlain what can they do? Les Bleus!! They’re in my team to watch and really feel like they could almost be a dark horse to win it, Blanc has rebuilt his squad after their disastrous world cup with an energetic youth based team mixed with some of the best established players in Europe.

Outcomes: a host of shock losses, potential riots/problems in both the Ukraine and Poland, Germany to win and win in style, Torres to spoil spain, england to just miss the last 8, Gomez golden boot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnG-gmrTivI